Do you ever have those moments in your life that you replay over and over and over again? A conversation, a sentence, or a word that you wish you'd NEVER said? One that should never come out of your mouth. One that no other, normal, person would ever think of saying? I do, almost every day.
You see, I have no filter. I say what I think like a 5-year-old kid. Words come to my mind and out of my mouth without a thought. It's not until after the fact that I realize, "I probably shouldn't have said that."
There's one particular one that I think about almost every day. I regret with every fiber of my being the words I said and there is no way to go back in time and unsay them. And almost every day, I am reminded of those words every time I see a large flag flying in the breeze.
I'm a 32-year old woman who, just a few years ago, asked one of the most important people in my life, "What kind of moron does that" when I was admiring his flag flying on his 25' flag pole. I meant for something "funny" to come out, but those were the exact words.
Yep, I called my dad a moron.
And I TOTALLY didn't mean it that way! But, those words came out faster than my brain could process, completely bypassing that filter you're supposed to have. And now, several years later, I replay them in my mind and just want to crawl back into a corner.
I find myself lacking a filter on a regular basis, when I'm talking to my children, when I'm "picking" on my friends, etc. I'd like to think that I recover fairly well when I explain what I meant, but should I have to explain every other comment that comes out of my mouth? Shouldn't adults be able to stop and think before they speak? I just hope that they realize I never mean it the way it comes out. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt people; I'm not built that way. It pangs me to think I might hurt someone's feelings with my words, especially when the words that come out are rarely what I intended them to be in the first place.
So, the question I must pose to you . . .you can go to almost any store and buy a filter for your a/c, a filter for your car, a filter for your humidifier . . . Anyone know where you buy a filter for you mouth!???